Infertility: The Emotional Journey

Description from Amazon.com

The author, Michelle Fryer Hanson hansonm@ur.sdstate.edu, March 25, 1999
From the introduction. 
This book consists of the stories of individuals' struggles with infertility. Each situation is different, but there are common threads that run through all cases of infertility. These are threads we must cling to in order to truly realize that we are not alone.

In most cases of infertility, the marital relationship is deeply affected. One of the largest problems couples face is conflict over the differences in the way each person grieves and deals with infertility. Whenever these differences cause problems, open communication between both partners is essential so they may learn appropriate ways to grieve together.

Relationships with close friends and family are also affected. The infertile couple tends to become more isolated as the partners move further through their infertility treatment. Most people do not understand what the infertile couple is facing. They assume that a pregnancy will occur eventually, or utter insensitive statements without even realizing it. While the couple feels anguish, friends and family are angered or confused by their seemingly pessimistic attitude.

Money becomes an ever-looming problem. Most health insurers do not cover many of the costs of infertility treatments. In order for a couple to conceive, they may spend hundreds of dollars a month.

Time is rigidly controlled in the infertile couple's lives. The couple may never know with certainty when a test will be scheduled, when ovulation will take place, or even when they can make love. Time is no longer the couple's; infertility dictates how they may use it.

With infertility also come unanticipated emotional triggers that can make the couple feel smothered. For us, emotional triggers included holidays, the sight of new parents holding their babies, the smell of baby shampoo, and the feel of soft baby blankets.

To my husband and I, perhaps the most difficult part of infertility was that it made us feel like we were all alone. As your read these stories, I hope you will find solace. You are not alone, and there are more of us each year who understand your devastation.

Customer Reviews

This book saved me, June 18, 1998 
Reviewer: A reader from Seattle A heartwrenching look at the effects infertility can have on a woman's life, and the ways other women have dealt with this problem. If you have this problem--or know someone who does--get this book. It'll help you so much.